Reading My Eyes
by AngelCakes4913
Summary: Dark chocolate locks cascade down, passed her shoulders. Eyes narrowed in focus as dark brown eyes scan over every word of text. Legs crossed over the other in another one of those short skirts that makes my mouth dry. I hated this. Hated the fact that I know it's not right to want her, to have her, and have to see her every day. [Thundercest] (Sad Beautiful Tragic Challenge)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This was a tough challenge because I hate writing in first person, it's very difficult to write in someone else's perspective and stick with it. Hopefully I did a decent job here. I also wanted to get this story out as soon as possible, because college is starting to get more difficult, so I don't know when I'll have time to write and I didn't want to miss the deadline.**

**Good luck to everyone else writing as well! Cheers!**

She's just sitting there, on the couch. Her nose buried in one of her lame girly books about relationships. My feet stop dead in their tracks, I want to get a good look at her before that pretty face squishes in annoyance.

Dark chocolate locks cascade down passed her shoulders. Eyes narrowed in focus as brown eyes scan over every word of text. Legs crossed over the other in another one of those short skirts that makes my mouth dry. There's nothing going on, just the occasional sounds of turning pages echoing in the empty home.

A large part of me wants to bother her, just for the satisfaction of taking her attention away from that dumb book and onto me. Another part is saying walk away, leave her be before that familiar desire _burns_ until I can't ignore it.

I don't want to feel this way but I do, I want her for myself. I want to take that innocence away, corrupt it and watch it crash over in waves. I'm curious. What sounds would she make if I touched her? What sounds could _we_ make together under the sheets?

Fantasies that bug me now not only in my sleep, but in my daydreams. And with that I turn back down to the stairs in my room, to suffer _alone_.

* * *

><p>A soft knock.<p>

"_Max, breakfast is ready."_

"_Go away."_ I groan and turn over on my pillow.

"_Whoa, who lit a fire under your cape this morning?"_

"_Phoebe, I'm not kidding leave me alone!"_

_"Ugh, fine."_

Her footsteps pass until I can't hear her any more, thank God she's gone. Phoebe didn't know about my problems. The kinds that popped up hard, long, and burning in the middle of the night and lingered embarrassingly in the morning.

Avoiding her is not the best plan I'll admit, but I can't face her, not when I'm like this. What if I lose my cool and try something?

I hated this. Hated the fact that I know it's not right to want her, to have her, and to still have to see her every day. That wasn't my only problem, Billy and Nora were starting to grow suspicious and if they knew they didn't say anything yet. It was only a matter of time before Phoebe figured it out herself.

* * *

><p>The steam is thick and it fogs the mirrors in the bathroom, I swing the door open and she's standing there. Of all times we run into each other it has to be when I'm soaking wet in nothing but a towel hanging loosely over my hips. Of course, how could this not happen?<p>

Silence.

_"Hey."_ I try to play it off, even though my heart is pounding against my rib cage.

"_I-I was… just looking… um –for something."_ Phoebe swallows for a second, eyes everywhere but on me.

A deep dark part of me wants to believe I saw something flash in her eyes and her tone sounded just a little bit _breathless_, or maybe I'm losing my freaking mind, I don't know. What I do know is that these hallways are far too narrow for my liking.

"_Whatever."_

I walk passed her, but made sure to brush my shoulder against hers, lingering far much more than I intended to and swear I felt her shiver. I needed to get out of there! My imagination was playing far too many games and the temptation to push her up against the wall was filling my head.

* * *

><p>Hands find their way to my chest and push me back a few steps. I am not expecting this. She's blocking me from getting into my room, this is stupid. She knows I'm the stronger one, I can easily <em>move<em> her if I wanted to, but I don't.

She gets in my face and I glare down at her, begging for her to start a fight. I know that's not why she's here doing this. She wants some answers, but she's not going to get any from me.

"_You're avoiding me, aren't you?"_

_"No."_

_"Please talk to me." _

_"God, Phoebe why can't you just leave me alone?"_

_"Why are you mad at me?"_

_"I'm not, just get out of my way."_

"_Not until you tell me what's wrong."_

It's not going to happen, there's no way I'm going to tell her what I've been feeling lately. She'll freak out. So many thoughts are swarming in my mind and I can't think straight. She's looking at me with those big pleading brown eyes and...and I give in to her.

"_It's you." _I confess.

"_...Me?"_

"_I gotta go." _As gently as I can, I move her out of the way and for a moment she allows me too.

_"Wait."_

The next thing I know, Phoebe's kissing me and…I'm kissing her back. No thoughts, no more questions, only feelings.

Everything is so warm and soft, we don't know what we're doing but I like it that way. I just let go and let my body take over. My lips open under hers, she gasps. I'm getting addicted to her, she tastes so sweet and smells so nice, and I never want to let her go.

Her fingers are in my hair, she's stroking my scalp and it feels so good. Somehow I have her trapped against the wall and my lips are all over her, from her mouth to her chin, along her jaw and down her neck. She laughs, I know she's ticklish there.

I laugh back at her, when she tries and fails to dominate, my mouth covers hers. I grab both of her tiny wrists and pull them over her head, against the wall. She doesn't fight it. For once Phoebe backs down and lets me take over. Both our bodies feel like they're on fire and I can't get enough.

I'm very sure being in the living room, making out like there's no tomorrow is not a good idea at all, but I don't have the willpower in me to stop. I don't think I want to stop.

* * *

><p>I'm yanked back on the collar by strength that is almost <em>superhuman<em> and I finally realize.

_Oh No._

"_What is going on here?!" _My father yells at the top of his lungs.

I'm frozen, a flood of emotions, namely shock, ripple through me and I can't think. Phoebe locks her gaze onto me, waiting for some kind of story to come up with, but no ideas come to my mind. I have no clue how to explain to my father what he just saw.

Phoebe reads my mind quick.

"_Dad, it's not what it looks like."_

"_So then explain it to me." _His hands fly up in disbelief. _"Tell me I didn't just see what I saw!"_

"_Hank, what's going on?"_

Just then Mom walks into the living room, she looks worried as she walks closer to Dad. So many questions we don't have the answers to. Now things are going from bad to worse in a matter of seconds.

Dad's not saying anything, but he looks like he'll break something or _someone_ any moment.

"_I don't know, Barb?"_ He points an accusing finger at me. _"I just saw the two of them…"_

"_N-nothing was going on, we were just-"_

"_We were kissing." _I drop my head, I can't look either of them in the eyes. _"...I'm sorry."_

It all comes out.

Mom, Dad, and Phoebe turn to look at me, horror clearly written on their faces as I tell them the truth. There's no beating around it, I know the consequences but that doesn't change the way I feel about her, my _sister_. For some reason it feels like a weight has been lifted off my chest.

"_No." _My mother shakes her head. _"I don't believe it."_ Her big dark eyes stare at us, it's like she's refusing to believe that we could do something like this, and I don't blame her. _"They wouldn't."_

_"It wasn't Max's fault." _Phoebe jumps in and tries to put on a brave face. _"…I kissed him."_

"_Oh my God."_

I hear the pain in my mother's voice, the disgust and she begins to cry. I don't know what to do, there's a sharp stinging in my chest. I can't look at her, this is just too much to process right now.

"_Mom, Dad-"_

She cuts me off by holding up her hand. _"How could the two of you do something like this? You know better."_

"_Mom, we're sorry."_ Phoebe mutters.

"_Sorry?"_ She mimics my sister, now she's getting angry. _"You're sorry Phoebe-"_ She breaks off, and inhales sharply. It's something she only does to me, never to Phoebe. _"There are some things you just don't do. This is one of them."_

Phoebe drops her head. She knows this. I know this. But we just…couldn't stop.

I can only imagine what's going on in her head right now. Tears begin falling down her face, and I'm not thinking straight. So I move towards her. It's not a conscious decision. It's instinctual, something I can't control.

_"Don't!"_ Dad practically roars at me, and I don't feel like I've been yelled at. I feel like he just punched me and I reel back.

Phoebe turns and runs out of the living room. The sound of her room door slamming echoes in the house.

I get accusing looks. Yes, I deserve them.

* * *

><p>I pack my bags. I don't know where I'm going but I need to go, somewhere anywhere. I have enough money saved up to get across town and go from there.<p>

_"You're really leaving?"_ Her voice reaches my ears, it sounds so small, so unsure.

I don't turn around. I just keep on packing, because if I look at her I'm not sure what'll happen next.

_"Yeah."_

_"Oh."_ I can hear her fiddling with her bracelets. "_When are you coming back?"_

_"I'm not."_

_"What about your family Max? _

_"You guys will be fine. I was always the outcast anyway."_

_"What about...me?"_

_"I was a fool for thinking even for a second we could be together."_

Her eyes change, going hard, and her jaw clenches in defiance. God, I shouldn't find that _sexy_ in any way.

_"It's not just up for you to decide, Max. This involves me too and I want-"_

_"No! There is no what 'we want'."_ I groan, she's making it so hard to do the right thing. _"It was a mistake."_

_"So you're just going to run?"_

_"What other choice is there?"_

_"I don't know, but not this. Max, please."_ She's cupping my face, eyes darting back and forth between my eyes and lips.

If she hadn't kissed me, none of this would have happened in the first place. I'd still be pulling dumb pranks, and teasing her like I used to. No. I can't blame her for the mess we tumbled into, it was very much _my_ fault as it was hers. We both screwed up, but now I know how to fix it.

I look her straight in the eye and tell her the biggest lie I've ever told anyone in all of my seventeen years of living.

_"I never said I loved you, Phoebe."_

Phoebe takes a step back, she doesn't believe me, but she lets me go.

I used that as an opening to sling my backpack over my shoulders, climb the rocks and leave my room. I step out the window, and out of her life. If I ever see her again, I know nothing will ever be the same.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Wow, so I haven't updated in a whole year! Well, technically this story is supposed to be completed but I got so many wonderful reviews so I figured I might as well add more to this story. I caught a quick marathon of the show and I really like the way they're making Phoebe's character develop. Sneaking out to parties, the stealing, and the lying. I just had to elaborate on that. She's becoming a badass, I love it! **

"_Maximus Octavius Thunderman, what were you thinking?!"_

I wasn't. My plan was to skip town and go from there. I shouldn't be here right now, I should be on a city bus making its way out of Hiddenville. But instead I'm sitting in my family's kitchen getting an earful from my mom.

"_I thought it would be best if I wasn't here."_

This is all Phoebe's fault. As if I didn't think for a second she wouldn't tell Mom and Dad that I was planning on leaving.

"_What you two did was wrong…but –but leaving would only make things worse." _Dad chimes in. At least he's a lot more calm.

A sudden rush washes over me and I turn my head to look in the direction of the stairs. I can see dark brown hair poking from beyond the hallway. Phoebe's there and the second our eyes lock, her head ducks back behind the wall.

I want to swear out loud because she ratted me out but my parents have no idea that I saw her. I won't risk her getting in trouble for my selfishness.

"_Listen to me Max."_ Mom then grips me by the shoulders. I'm focused on her now. _"Things are going to be different now. I already had this same talk with Phoebe…I want you two to act as if nothing had ever happened."_

Dad takes a few steps closer and brings his voice down a couple notches. _"What would we tell neighbors if our oldest son just disappeared?" _

Mom nods.

"_And what would we say to Billy and Nora?" _I stay silent."_So for their sake please –just pretend none of this ever happened."_

So that was it. My parents were more concerned about keeping up with appearances then the truth. I didn't even think it was possible to 'act as if everything were normal'. What Phoebe and I did…there's no going back to the normal.

I already knew that fighting back was a losing battle. But that won't change how I feel about her.

"_I guess I understand. Goodnight." _I stand up out of my seat and start walking to my room.

There's no possible way this will work.

* * *

><p>It's around midnight and everyone has been asleep but I can't catch a wink. Every time I close my eyes, everything replays over and over in my mind. So many other possible outcomes that could have been if I had done it differently.<p>

Maybe I should have pushed her away, but the second I knew my sister felt the same I couldn't think of anything else but her.

How could I move on?

"…_Max?"_ A gentle touch on my shoulder.

No.

"_Max, I'm sorry."_

In a blink I go from frustrated to angry. Phoebe is the last person I want to see right now.

"_Get out of my room."_

_"Please talk to me__."_

It's like Déjà vu all over again. Right before this mess started and I snap. I pull the covers off of myself.

"_Why did you tell them?!"_ I angrily shout in a whisper. _"I shouldn't be here!"_

Phoebe cowers back, but only for a second. _"You weren't thinking straight. Did you honestly think you'd be able to survive out there?"_

"_So what. It'd be much better than being here with-,"_

"_Me." _Phoebe fills in the blank. There's hurt in her eyes and in an instant she's directly in front of me reaching out.

"_Don't."_ I put my hand up to stop her. _"I can't do it. I can't look at you like I don't want you."_

I'd rather be gone, far away then to stay here and have to breathe another moment of knowing I can't have her.

Silence creeps over us.

"_I-I don't think…I'll be able to pretend either."_

_Fuck._ I don't need to hear this from her. The fact that I know what her lips feel like pressed against mine is making me tip the scales of right and wrong once again. She's just not making this easy for me, for the both of us.

"_Please, Max-,"_

I won't do it.

"_Get out."_

I get one last pleading look from her, before she gives up and leaves.

* * *

><p>Morning comes way too soon. I didn't get any sleep so now I'm irritable.<p>

Mom is over the stove cooking up what looks to be quite a meal. At least she's trying to make it seem as if everything is back to normal. I grab a bowl of cereal because it's quick and easy.

"_Morning everyone!"_ Phoebe cheerfully enters the kitchen.

It looks like Phoebe is playing the game of Charades too.

I grunt in response, taking more of an interest in my food.

"_Max, Phoebe, don't forget you guys have to pick me up from Track and Field after school." _Billy mentions.

I had completely forgot. With everything that's been going on I find it an honest excuse. Phoebe sneaks a peek at me and she looks just as dumbfounded as I do.

"_We –uh…?" _Mom interrupts Phoebe.

"_Phoebe will do it Billy. I need Max to get me some things from the groceries after school."_

Nice save.

"_Sure thing Mom." _I mutter.

* * *

><p>"<em>Dude, why is your sister talking to Alex Fisher?" <em>Oyster questions from over my shoulder.

I try my hardest not to slam my locker shut as I watch Phoebe giving 'the eyes' to the school's _Senior _Quarterback.

"_Bro, she just gave him her number."_ Oyster tells me exactly what my eyes are seeing.

Phoebe knows I don't like that guy. We fought way back during my sophomore year, for a reason I can't really remember right now. If this is part of a dumb little plan to make me jealous it's working. But it's not enough to make me do anything stupid.

That is, until I see Alex's hand move freely down her lower back during their little hug. I lose it.

"_Mother fu-,"_

"_Whoa whoa, what do you think you're doing?" _Oyster hauls me back by the shoulders.

"_Did you see what he just did?!"_

"_So. You're not gonna be one of those brothers who won't let their sisters have fun are you?"_

Of course not. I'm not going to be one of those brothers because I'm not like them. If Phoebe wants to be with the one guy I literally can't stand then so be it. For now I wasn't going to get in her way.

"_Whatever."_ I shoved his hands off me and turn to walk off in the opposite direction.

* * *

><p>"<em>Um, guys?"<em> Billy snapped his fingers.

We were walking to my room to test activate some rockets, and the next thing I know we bumped into Phoebe. In comes Nora at the top of the stairs shortly after.

No one was talking.

That's already a bad sign. If Billy and Nora had any inkling of what Phoebe and I had done, they would pick up on it soon enough.

"…_I was just going to my room."_ Phoebe murmured and tried to shuffle past us.

"_You were in your room all day yesterday."_ Nora spoke up.

"_Sorry Nora, I-,"_ Phoebe was cut off when Billy blurted out again.

"_And why are you avoiding Max?"_

"_Billy…?" _I tried to get him to stop.

"_What's wrong with the both of you?"_ Nora added. Great, they were taking turns interrogating us.

"_Nora."_ Phoebe's eyebrows furrowed.

"_I hope you're not fighting. Please don't fight." _Billy fessed up.

"_You're not even teasing each other like you used to!"_ Nora babbled out shortly after.

"_Nora!" _

"_Billy!" _

Phoebe and I yelled out their names, trying to get them both to relax. As if this situation wasn't awkward already.

I grabbed him harshly by the waist and cupped a hand over his mouth to keep it shut. _"Calm down." _I slowly let him go.

"_What's wrong with you guys?" _Nora pleaded, looking between Phoebe and me.

Then there was silence. No one said a thing. No one could.

* * *

><p>"<em>Whatever you think you're doing isn't going to work on me." <em>Several days have passed but this is seriously bugging me.

I'm in her room, which I hate to be because everything surrounding me is all of her. It makes it really hard to think straight, I want to be upset but I can't when she's stretched out on her side staring up at me with that all knowing _smirk_.

"_Too bad I have no idea what you're talking about, otherwise this would be amusing." _She runs a hand through her hair.

I'm getting distracted.

"_I'm serious Phoebe, cut it out."_

"_Cut what out?" _She looks annoyed. Good, she should be.

"_You and Alex." _Eyebrows raise as I watch her catch on_. "You know I hate that guy, what's your deal?"_

"_There is no deal. He's a nice guy and we're just talking."_

"_Well then…stop talking."_ Phoebe gets up and I can think somewhat better than before.

"_You're making no sense. Besides, I didn't throw a fit when you asked Courtney out right after."_ Her hands sit on her hips.

So she did see that. I want to bring it to her attention but then…

"_Face it Max, you don't like her." _Phoebe struts closer. Dangerously close. _"The way you like me." _She whispers in my ear.

I stand there frozen in shock and little in something…else and stare at her.

There was something I was feeling right at that moment, something that I couldn't describe. It wasn't a violent urge, but it wasn't a gentle feeling either. All I know is that I want to throw her down on her bed and wipe that smug look off her face.

"_Kids we're home!"_

Phoebe, all cool and collected, brushes passed me and out the door.

* * *

><p>At night, I would close my eyes until my head started to pound and my breath became shallow. I would grit my teeth and try to calm nerves, at least until little white dots sprung up in my mind. I tried not to think about her and the things I wanted to do but…<p>

In my unconscious mind I would dream of warm, soft hands against my skin, long dark chocolate hair tickling my face. The smell of her had sunken deep within my bones and the soft murmur of her voice in my ear.

It's all a blurry mess in my mind, but I'd clearly rather not be reminded of the fault that are my feelings.

My mind keeps wandering and I'm back to where this chaos began, only I choose to filter out the bad of that night.

The feel of her body pressed against mine, the small noises that left her when my mouth found that spot on her neck. Just remembering the taste of her had me going insane and I find myself needing more. I haven't gotten a decent night of rest because I know what it's like to have Phoebe.

I can't get enough.

And I can't go on living like this.

* * *

><p>"<em>We need to talk."<em>

"_I'm getting ready for my date with Alex, can it wait?"_

It's just then that I notice the outfit laying on her bed. My eyes zero in on the black mini skirt.

"_No. Actually it can't." _My blood boils.

"_Fine."_ She sets her makeup down. _"What is it?"_

"_I'm done. I'm done playing these games." _I pinch the bridge of my nose.

Phoebe looks obviously confused. "_Max, what are you-,"_

I stop her._ "Just hear me out, okay. I broke up with Courtney, actually I broke up with her a while ago."_

"_I'm sorry to hear that."_

I'm seriously tired of the nonsense. Phoebe is the girl I want and I don't care about the consequences any more. It was only a matter of time before we got back to this point. Whether it be she made the first move or I did. This was bound to happen eventually. This feels like an out of body experience as I walk closer to her. I've been thinking about this for weeks and I won't be able to forgive myself if I don't do this.

"_There's a reason why we broke up. I was kidding myself if I actually thought I could replace you."_

"_Max…"_

"_Phoebe, I-I can't stop thinking about you."_

I've never seen her look so vulnerable before. Like she wants this just as badly as I do.

This is it.

Suddenly my lips are on hers, brushing onto her mouth with a gentle pressure that's quickly breaks off with a messy sort of abandon. I don't care about anything but this girl in my arms. Her arms reach out and twine around my neck, pulling me down to her, demanding.

I give in and taste her mouth, lowering my hands to her waist. Everything is perfect in all the wrong ways as the rest of her body melt into mine. I can't ease this urge to push my hips into hers or try to ignore the way the smooth groove of her lower waist fits in my hand.

I very carefully open my lips under hers and her warm tongue slides into my mouth. Then her hand comes up to grab the back of my neck and I hold her just as tightly into the kiss refusing to let her go.

I don't understand how I was able to fight this for so long.

My body ignites and these lips move from her mouth to her jaw and down her neck, just about anywhere I can get my mouth on. I dip my face into the curve where her neck meets her shoulder and breathe in that familiar fragrance before tracing my lips along her soft skin.

My palms lower to her hips and skim along the low dip at her back. Her skin is on fire as I bite at her collarbone, trailing teeth-marks all over her as she gasps softly.

"_Oh God."_ She arches her back, pressing her breasts into my chest.

I quietly groan her name into her skin because everyone is downstairs and we're taking a huge risk doing this.

Those alarms begin to go off and I break off from the kiss, letting my forehead rest against hers. Collecting our breath and thoughts, there's a large part of me that doesn't want to stop. I'm sure Phoebe wants to keep going but this should be enough to hold me down.

"_You can go on your date tonight, but if it doesn't work out…you know where to find me."_

She wordlessly nods.

* * *

><p>Late at night, where my heart beat was a little heavier. I'm pacing back and forth, for no good reason except that I'm anxious.<p>

She might not even show up. What was I thinking? That she'd actually come down to my room and we would finish where we left off.

There's no way she would-

Phoebe walks down the last step and clears her throat. I'm ripped away from my jumbled thoughts and focused only on her.

She had that same look in her eyes from earlier.

We weren't going to act like siblings tonight.


End file.
